17 LOLs from my teenage diaries

Particularly funny when intoned aloud.

Computer issues

  1. Times New Roman is actually an ok font. This is Times New Roman. On size 12 it looks rubbish, like this, but on bigger fonts it looks good.
  1. I am surprised that my computer can actually run on battery, because I thought it couldn’t. I am now timing how long it takes for the battery to run out, because I may now be able to use it in the car, etc.
  1. Just thought I’d write today, as I have just installed Windows XP on this computer!!! It’s quite exciting!!

Comment: #retro #waybackwhen #ThrowbackTuesday

  1. Dammit! Can’t get on the internet!! When I upgraded to XP it automatically gave me MSN!! So I thought I could be cool, but no. Because the stupid server thing won’t work.

Comment: I was obviously meant to work in technology.


The modern world

  1. One person got expelled and a few people got suspended for smelling ‘poppers’, some kind of drug that you smell, today. Well, it’s their fault.

Comment: #personalresponsibility #conservatism #drugsthatyousmell

  1. what would happen if someone in school got pregnant? […] Would they be expelled? If they were raped, would they be treated more leniently than if they had just got pregnant from some randomer?




  1. He smells of BO so bad it’s revolting. You can’t go near him sometimes. It’s not even fresh sweat, like ‘I can’t help it I’ve just been playing football’, it’s more stale-fish-and-chips ‘I’ve no [sic] showered in a month’, which is about accurate, to be honest. […] There are some girls who wash their hair every day and have two showers a day. That’s quite freakish, if you ask me. Too clean. But there’s the other extreme.
  1. Top 10 worst things about being popular:
  • Everyone knows who you’ve slept with
  • Everyone hates you
  • Boyfriends use you
  • Orange!!
  • Feet get deformed from those pointy witchy shoes
  • Hair all falls out from straightening it.
  • Get frostbite on midriff from overexposure
  • Ha! All that foundation doesn’t conceal those spots!!
  • Everyone knows your bra size – sorry, your padded bra size
  • No one actually likes you anyway.

Comment: not so much a chip as a paddy field on my shoulder

  1. Other things I have come to despise: marriage. It’s so deceptive and just holds nothing real inside, clearly.

Comment: Wut



  1. I hate some lads. Some are nice but some aren’t. And some girls are nice, and some aren’t. But such is life

Comment: #streetwise #worldlywisdom

  1. From now on I may write my diary in a notebook. So farewell for the present.

Comment: that was it. I actually saved that as a dated entry. What a waste of a Word document

  1. Have had a pretty eventful day, actually. I went in in the morning, intending to go to Chamber choir. But I was ridiculously early and none of my friends were there, so I signed my name on the ‘register’ and went to dump my bag in the common room. I was going to come back with some friends. I met said friends, but I was about ten minutes early, so we loitered for a while

Comment: still waiting for that ‘eventful’

  1. Today is the 18th

Comment: this appeared in an entry with a dated filename

  1. Was going to say something but I forgot what it was. […] For lack of anything better to do or say at this moment in time, I will tell you that one of my ear (piercings) is infected
  1. And then a fly flew into my eye and got stuck, so I had to run home.

Comment: everyday comedy

  1. My problems:
  • I have lost my choir book and the concert is in 1 hour
  • A and B are being tight to me because I had a go at A and others for being racist
  • C is on the verge of going out with A
  • I cannot decide whether the popular girls in our year are complete bitches or actually ok underneath it all – they are so confusing.
  • D keeps being nasty to C*

Comment: *Some names have been changed. Oh and #firstworldproblems


Bonus: My Slang Dictionary

Tight = mean

Mank(y) = gross

Minging = gross

Dudey = cool

Lad = member of male sex

4 thoughts on “17 LOLs from my teenage diaries

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